Why, just a few weeks ago, in a hotel elevator heading back to our room after my friend's rehearsal dinner in DC we were mistaken for newlyweds. What a compliment! I am so humbled and blessed that I get to do life with Husband.
This morning, my reading was Ephesians 5. Such a small portion of this chapter gets too much attention; gets so twisted around as irrelevant and old-fashioned. Namely, the 5:22-24 part. The "Wives, submit to your Husbands" part. But the part RIGHT before that doesn't get enough attention, if you ask me.
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Before Paul says anything about what the man and the woman specifically should do in a marriage, he tell us what we BOTH ought to be doing-submitting to EACH OTHER. The rest of the verses simply explain what that means for both sexes.
I don't want to spend much time on the woman part, but it bears mentioning that "submitting" means that I respect my husband and let him lead me. I reckon there are women out there who take issue with this. But it doesn't mean I'm a doormat without a say or an opinion. In fact, I can't think of anything hotter than a man who is sure of himself; one who I trust enough to make wise decisions and lead our family in a way that takes both his and my perspective into consideration.
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| I'm glad this isn't what Paul had in mind when he said "Submit." Though a little friendly wrestling never hurt anyone, AMIRIGHT? <wink!> |
I really do love how practical and applicable the Bible is. Call me crazy (and many would in this day and age), but it's so refreshing to read this guidance for marriage--to be able to stop over-thinking things and go back to these simple truths time and time again. They are always here for us.
Which leads me to the man part, the part of Ephesians 5 I want to reflect on. What exactly does this scripture tell us about what it means for a man to SUBMIT to his wife? Here's a bulleted list for your convenience:
- Love your wives as Christ loves the church-He DID die for the church, after all. There are about a MILLION examples in the Bible of what it looked like for Christ to show love to his people, the church.
- Love your wives as you love your own bodies-Ephesians says that men who love their bodies feed them and care for them. (I know I love when husband brings me chocolates and gives me back rubs! Feeding and caring at it's finest! Anyone?)
Sorry I'm not sorry for getting all mushy about Husband now, but, HOLY COW. He is the epitome of an "Ephesians 5 Man." This man. I can't even. He loves me so much, I honestly don't understand it sometimes. He puts me above himself so often I sometimes feel guilty! He always takes my point of view into consideration; he knows where I'm coming from; he knows my heart.
Even when we disagree or get upset with each other, I have this deep peace because I KNOW that Husbands intentions towards me are always so, so good. Even when he makes me mad or hurts my feelings, I RESPECT him. I trust his guidance. I trust his leadership. I trust his ability to make good decisions. I hope I do a good enough job of making him confident that I feel this way.
Knowing what Ephesians 5 says, wanting to be good at marriage, reading about it, communicating about our needs/wants, and praying are what got us to where we are today. We'll have our ups and downs like all couples do. But I'm so hopeful that we'll never lose these things we've worked so hard to learn and implement in our relationship.
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| Learning which little things most stimulate feelings of love is worth the effort! |
Look, I'm all for being an independent, self-sufficient female. I really am. We're good at stuff, ladies. We can do amazing things. WE CAN DO IT WITH THE HELP OF NO MANNNN!
I know that I am fully capable of making decisions and leading my own self. But in a Godly marriage, my man has a role. It's certainly up to him to seek to be an Ephesians 5 kind of man; to let God lead HIM. But it's also up to me to respect him enough to give him the freedom to lead me. To give up control sometimes, with the assurance that I still have a voice that's heard. To give him the benefit of the doubt. To trust him. And he submits to me by doing everything he can to know my heart; thus loving me, feeding me, and caring for me just as he does himself.
So how does the chapter end? Paul sums it up again this way:
Relationships can be so hard and exhausting. We screw up a lot (maybe me more than Husband, oooppsiessssss), and it's not all butterflies and rainbows every day. But being an Ephesians 5 kind of couple--that's what I'll always want, and what I'll always work towards.
HUGS,
S
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