I have a problem letting go. Which means I also have a problem "letting God." I want to stick my nose in, interject, fix, make peace, make pie (ok, fine, there is literally NOTHING wrong with making pie. Ever.), ALWAYS. MAKING. PROGRESS. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to make progress, wanting to reach goals, or working towards goals. But it BECOMES a problem when we become so focused, so obsessed with the "goal" that we forget to enjoy the present moment.
And how many of us can really say--(ala Joyce Meyer!)--"I live in the present and enjoy each moment"? Typically, I can't. I'm too busy thinking about what I have to accomplish today in light of what I have to accomplish tomorrow, and next week, and next month, and in the next couple of years. I want X amount in my savings account. I want to lose X pounds. I want to move to a new house.
Again, I'm not knocking goals. But I'm tired of always striving, and rarely enjoying.
I don't want to feel rushed. I don't want to feel stuck. I don't want to feel discontent. I don't want to be stingy with what I already have. The more I focus on what I don't have, the less I appreciate what I do have. But this makes sense, doesn't it? Because the things that I focus on, the things that I meditate on and think about become my reality. If I'm always thinking about what I don't have, my life becomes a life of lack.
But what if I change my thoughts to something more...purposeful? If I begin to think about all things I do have, all the things I can give, behave responsibly with those blessings, and believe that God will take care of the rest, my life becomes a life of abundance...of joy...of peace...of hopeful expectation!
I want to live life with more...abandon. I don't mean being reckless or irresponsible (which I probably couldn't be even if I wanted to!) but I mean I want to love EVERYTHING I have....every minute with myself and others, every possession, every beautiful day, EVERYTHING....while I'm on the way to where I'm going. I want to spend a little money on things that make me happy--like new paint on the walls, Christmas presents and decorations, and creative ways to give to complete strangers--without worrying that there won't be enough money for me later.
I live with abandon sometimes. But the moments are fleeting, and suddenly I find myself back in the same old rut--putting pressure on myself to ACCOMPLISH MORE, BE MORE, MAKE MORE, SAVE MORE, GET THERE FASTER.
But I don't believe this is how God intended for us to live our lives. One of the most freeing thoughts I've ever encountered is this one: that God WANTS us to enjoy our lives. I think I've bought into some form of a lie about the "Christian life of suffering." Like, if I'm not patiently and gracefully enduring some trial or suffering, if I'm not living in poverty, then I'm not as valuable to Christ; not as "good" of a Christian. I'm not sure where this comes from, but I AM sure that God doesn't want me to live my life feeling guilty that I'm blessed!
The truth is that there will be suffering in EVERY life--Christian or not. But if I spend my time focusing on how much I'm suffering, or that I'm not suffering enough, or when I'll start suffering again, it robs me of the joy I could be enjoying TODAY. What a waste! I want to live expectantly--believing that something GREAT is right around the corner; not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want to live like THIS:
What a picture! When I make a habit of enjoying what I have today and trusting God to take care of tomorrow, the pressure is lifted. And even if tomorrow brings a storm, my MIND and my thought life will already be conditioned to better whether it. Purposefully filling your mind with positive thoughts will not only increase joy in times of calm, but it will increase calm in times of storm.
This is the life I want to lead! And now, just so I am sure that I've left you all with something tangible to enjoy today, please watch this video. You are welcome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
HUGS AND JOY,
S
