Pursuing Peace

Hello, darlings!

It's a gloriously lazy Saturday here in GA, and darnit, I just felt a blog coming on in the midst of my quiet time this morning.

Psalm 34:14 says, "Depart from all evil and do good; seek, inquire for, and crave peace and pursue it!"

Most of us don't have an issue with the craving peace part.  Who doesn't WANT peace in their lives?  But how many of us are truly PURSUING peace?  I know I want me some peace, ya'll.  I look for it--admittedly not always in the right places.  I ask God for it rather frequently, too.  But when I really stop and think--What am I myself doing to PURSUE it--well, that's a different story altogether.

I read a lot of Joyce Meyer stuff.  And when I say a lot, I mean...A LOT.  She's good, folks.  She's real good.  And one of the things she says is to "Pursue peace with God, myself and others."  So this morning I made a list.  I started to think through what it would mean in my own life to pursue peace with God, myself and others.  I thought about the significance of the fact that, unless my circumstances in life are bright and rosy ALL THE TIME (which they never will be), peace is NOT going to just fall into my lap.  I thought about ALLLLLL the situations in life in which it's a DECISION to be peaceful.

Before I share (some of) my list, let's just take a timeout and talk about traffic.  You who know me (or have been a passenger in my vehicle for more than 30 seconds) know that I.  HATE.  TRAFFIC.  MORE.  THAN.  ANYTHING.  EVER.  I can think of VERY few things in my entire life that have made me angrier than traffic.  We've all been there.

But in recent months, I've realized that the ONLY person who is really harmed by my getting THAT upset in traffic is me.  It's just a dumb thing to let steal my peace.  Some days it's easier than others to try to put a positive spin on it.  "Maybe I'm being protected from getting in an accident."  "This traffic is the result of a horrible wreck; I'm so thankful that I wasn't in a wreck."  "Good thing my sweet Husband is making dinner tonight, and I can just walk in the door, accept the glass of wine he hands me, and stuff my face."

I will never like traffic.  No one ever will.  But I can choose not to let it steal my peace, because it's not worth it.  I've found that if I just pick a lane and sit in it--I'm infinitely more peaceful than when I try to bounce back and forth to whatever lane is moving one iota faster than the one I'm in.  I'll get there eventually.  God has a good plan for my life.

So back to my list.  What will it really look like in my life if I pursue peace with God, myself and others? Here are some snippets:

Pursuing peace with God means....

• Putting Him first every day
• Awareness of His presence moment-by-moment
• Looking beyond my circumstances (good or bad)
• Believing He has a good plan for me

My ultimate goal in this is to keep looking upward rather than inward.  This doesn't mean to ignore my own self--I can't very well do that.  But it does mean to live outside of myself as much as possible. Sometimes, I'm kind of a crappy thing to focus on!  Lucky for me, I can always place my focus elsewhere.

Pursuing peace with myself means....

• Learning to see myself as God sees me
• Not speaking negative things about myself
• Giving up control/letting go
• Focusing on positive thoughts
• Refusing to bow to emotions

We've all heard the saying "You're your own worst critic" because it's true.  Perhaps especially for women.  We're constantly comparing ourselves with others, and finding "proof" that we really aren't good enough, or <insert another adjective here> enough.  But God doesn't see those awful things.  He sees His own glorious creation.  There is a way to love yourself and see yourself the way God sees you without being arrogant or proud.  In fact, I believe that's what He wants for us.  All this beating ourselves up has got to stop.  Look around you, and look at all the people in your life that LOVE YOU (God included).  They ALL think you're pretty great.  I don't want to be so hard on myself.  I can always forgive myself, and try again tomorrow.  If I fall into the trap of believing lies about myself, it will steal my peace.

Last, but not least, pursuing peace with others means...

• Being helpful and generous with my time
• Being a cheerful listener
• Being an encourager
• Not placing expectations on others
• Learning to see people as God sees them
• Refusing to judge--that's God's job

If I said I never judged someone, or placed unfair expectations on them, I'd be a horrible liar.  But when I begin to study what God says about ME, I begin to realize that He treasures ME.  What's more, he treasures YOU and everyone else I might cross paths with.  Why would I choose to see people any differently than GOD does?  Sounds pretty dumb when I put it that way.  So, the next time Husband leaves the door unlocked all night, or someone ditches me, or shows up late, or disappoints me--I have a choice.  We can't choose what people will do, but we can choose how we react.

So, yeah.  That's what has been on my mind this morning.  It's truly a wonderful feeling to release myself from the pressure of getting things right every time; I'm getting it right MORE of the time than I used to, and that's progress.  I love knowing that I WILL screw up, but that doesn't change who I am or what's in my heart.  I can always try again tomorrow (or later today!).

HUGS,

S

I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE, AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!!!!

Hello, dear ones!

If you know from whence today's blog title came, please understand that you are truly a kindred spirit.

Also, I'm simply not going to be apologetic about what I'm about to write, either.

I HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD.

Today, I realized that I am used to his awesomeness.  This doesn't mean I don't appreciate it--nay nay. What I mean is that his thoughtfulness, quirkiness and love are...in a way, normal to me now.  It means that I had forgotten what it felt like to first experience his amazing-ness.  I don't often think about what it used to be like to be me--pinching myself every time he did something that was so different, so surprising, or so perfect to my delicate little flower of a girly self.

On our 1 year anniversary of dating, Husband made me this album of our first year together.  It has pictures, notes we wrote each other, emails, ticket stubs and more.  It's sitting on the shelf of my desk in my home office.  Every now and then, I take it down, flip through it and smile.  It's been awhile, but I took it down and really read through it today.  In the back, he included all these e-mails that I wrote him while we were dating.  I remember previously thinking, "I wonder why he put all MY e-mails in here?  I'd love to re-read some of HIS old e-mails, too!"

But today, I'm really glad he put my words in this book.  When I read my own words to him, it took me back to those days when I was discovering just how different and special he was; learning that there was a REASON nothing I thought I wanted before him ever worked out.  It seems that the deeper we get into our marriage, the more I've accepted the fact that he ISN'T too good to be true.  And I love that squishy, secure feeling, but I also love being reminded what it felt like to get a glimpse of that truth for the first time.

I remember that so often I was kind of expecting him to decide he didn't like me anymore, disappoint me, or <insert some other hurtful thing some dude of the past did>.  But in my most delicate moments, he always exceeded my wildest imagination.  By like, a lot.

He told me once that he promised to make me fall in love with him again and again.  And boy has he kept up his end of THAT bargain!!

Many of you know that Husband has to travel to the West Coast quite frequently for work these days.  It's tough when he's gone, for both of us, for various reasons.  But he always finds ways to make me feel like he's still around when he's not here.  He leaves me little notes in various drawers and hiding places throughout the house.  He'll send flowers on a day he knows I'm working from home.  If Mom is spending a night with me, he'll buy us wine and chocolate and hide it.  He'll put letters in envelopes--one for every day he's gone--and tell me I can only read one a day.  This past time, he had little surprises in the envelopes with the letters.  My favorite was one where he left money in it, and instructed me that I had to use some on myself for something I really wanted, spend some on someone else, and give some away.

He does the dishes after dinner almost every night.

He listens to me (and actually remembers crap I say!)

He cooks for me (makes some MEAN potatoes.)

He knows me better than anyone.

So many days, I just can't wrap my head around why he likes me so much.  Most of the time, I don't like myself NEARLY as much as he does (I'm working on that!).  But then, I realize, I don't have to wrap my head around it.  I don't need to.  While God often calls us to accept difficult things, He also wants us to accept His blessings.  

Learning to be married is not easy, and it takes time.  We'll never stop learning about each other, and I'm sure we both have A LOT more to learn.  But that's part of the beauty of marriage--two people who don't WANT to stop learning about each other.  Two people who understand that needs and emotions and wants and desires will change over time.  Two people who are willing to change with their partner, learn new ways to love them, and decide never to give up.

I am about 3 days away from turning 32.  Husband and I are celebrating tomorrow, and he has something special planned.  I know it involves the High Museum of Art and dinner out at a place called The Spence.  I don't know any other details, but I can tell you...very few things excite me more than discovering what my love has planned for me. He knows my heart, and whatever it is....I know it will make me swoon, feel undeserving, blessed, and over-the moon for him once again.

I believe that God intended for husbands to be leaders and to model Christ's Love to their wives.  Husband shows me the love of Christ every day.  Every day.  I will never deserve any of it, but I am so so thankful for it!  I've been married for 3 years, 6 months and 15 days.  And I have never loved Husband as much as I love him right now.

HUGS and MUSH,

S