If you know from whence today's blog title came, please understand that you are truly a kindred spirit.
Also, I'm simply not going to be apologetic about what I'm about to write, either.
I HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD.
Today, I realized that I am used to his awesomeness. This doesn't mean I don't appreciate it--nay nay. What I mean is that his thoughtfulness, quirkiness and love are...in a way, normal to me now. It means that I had forgotten what it felt like to first experience his amazing-ness. I don't often think about what it used to be like to be me--pinching myself every time he did something that was so different, so surprising, or so perfect to my delicate little flower of a girly self.
On our 1 year anniversary of dating, Husband made me this album of our first year together. It has pictures, notes we wrote each other, emails, ticket stubs and more. It's sitting on the shelf of my desk in my home office. Every now and then, I take it down, flip through it and smile. It's been awhile, but I took it down and really read through it today. In the back, he included all these e-mails that I wrote him while we were dating. I remember previously thinking, "I wonder why he put all MY e-mails in here? I'd love to re-read some of HIS old e-mails, too!"
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But today, I'm really glad he put my words in this book. When I read my own words to him, it took me back to those days when I was discovering just how different and special he was; learning that there was a REASON nothing I thought I wanted before him ever worked out. It seems that the deeper we get into our marriage, the more I've accepted the fact that he ISN'T too good to be true. And I love that squishy, secure feeling, but I also love being reminded what it felt like to get a glimpse of that truth for the first time.
I remember that so often I was kind of expecting him to decide he didn't like me anymore, disappoint me, or <insert some other hurtful thing some dude of the past did>. But in my most delicate moments, he always exceeded my wildest imagination. By like, a lot.
He told me once that he promised to make me fall in love with him again and again. And boy has he kept up his end of THAT bargain!!
Many of you know that Husband has to travel to the West Coast quite frequently for work these days. It's tough when he's gone, for both of us, for various reasons. But he always finds ways to make me feel like he's still around when he's not here. He leaves me little notes in various drawers and hiding places throughout the house. He'll send flowers on a day he knows I'm working from home. If Mom is spending a night with me, he'll buy us wine and chocolate and hide it. He'll put letters in envelopes--one for every day he's gone--and tell me I can only read one a day. This past time, he had little surprises in the envelopes with the letters. My favorite was one where he left money in it, and instructed me that I had to use some on myself for something I really wanted, spend some on someone else, and give some away.
He does the dishes after dinner almost every night.
He listens to me (and actually remembers crap I say!)
He cooks for me (makes some MEAN potatoes.)
He knows me better than anyone.
So many days, I just can't wrap my head around why he likes me so much. Most of the time, I don't like myself NEARLY as much as he does (I'm working on that!). But then, I realize, I don't have to wrap my head around it. I don't need to. While God often calls us to accept difficult things, He also wants us to accept His blessings.
Learning to be married is not easy, and it takes time. We'll never stop learning about each other, and I'm sure we both have A LOT more to learn. But that's part of the beauty of marriage--two people who don't WANT to stop learning about each other. Two people who understand that needs and emotions and wants and desires will change over time. Two people who are willing to change with their partner, learn new ways to love them, and decide never to give up.
I am about 3 days away from turning 32. Husband and I are celebrating tomorrow, and he has something special planned. I know it involves the High Museum of Art and dinner out at a place called The Spence. I don't know any other details, but I can tell you...very few things excite me more than discovering what my love has planned for me. He knows my heart, and whatever it is....I know it will make me swoon, feel undeserving, blessed, and over-the moon for him once again.
I believe that God intended for husbands to be leaders and to model Christ's Love to their wives. Husband shows me the love of Christ every day. Every day. I will never deserve any of it, but I am so so thankful for it! I've been married for 3 years, 6 months and 15 days. And I have never loved Husband as much as I love him right now.
HUGS and MUSH,
S
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